I don't know who Katie Kamara is, but a friend of mine recently tagged me in a comment to this post by her. I think there is a lot of truth in these words.
I feel like the answer, instead of music, should be prayer or Jesus ... but honestly? Right now, today, this week, this whole past month, it's been music that has kept me sane. Not that I've been sane. I've been a trainwreck. A hot mess. A ticking time bomb. But music has given me a focus. Or at least it has temporarily taken my focus off of thoughts such as "I hate my life," "I want to die," "I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate," etc.
Yes, I've been praying. And I know people are praying for me. And maybe their prayers are drawing me to the music. I don't know.
Here's what I do know: I can't do words. I try to write in my journal, and the words don't come. Or, when the words do come, they're about music. I don't want to write about my depression or my despair because doing so will draw me into more depression and despair. Music lifts me out of it, for a while.
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