Picking Up the Pieces

Here is the Music With Ben pianist (I'm guessing his name is Ben) playing the Jingle Bells ragtime piece I am learning. He does a nice job of it! I particularly like the flourish when he stomps on that low "C" in the crossed-hands part. Enjoy!

I don't know who Katie Kamara is, but a friend of mine recently tagged me in a comment to this post by her. I think there is a lot of truth in these words. I feel like the answer, instead of music, should be prayer or Jesus ... but honestly? Right now, today, this week, this whole past month, it's been music that has kept me sane. Not that I've been sane. I've been a trainwreck. A hot mess. A ticking time bomb. But music has given me a focus. Or at least it has temporarily taken my focus off of thoughts such as "I hate my life," "I want to die," "I hate I hate I hate I hate I hate," etc. Yes, I've been praying. And I know people are praying for me. And maybe their prayers are drawing me to the music. I don't know. Here's what I do know: I can't do words. I try to write in my journal, and the words don't come. Or, when the words do come, they're about music. I don't want to write about my depression or my despair ...

I've been doing some of the octave drills from Hanon, but I've also come up with a new octave drill on my own. It involves jumping various intervals repeatedly. I keep my hands two octaves apart, which I think will address at least three challenges: Getting a feel for the distances between intervals Playing ragtime , which often has the oom-pah in the deep bass (at least the "oom" part) while the right hand dances in the higher octaves Training my eyes to have a "center-of-the-piano" focus so that I can focus (peripherally, at least) on both the right hand and the left hand. I've been doing this exercise every day for the past few days, and I can already tell that I'm playing the octaves faster and more accurately, even when I get to the big jumps. I also think my octaves in songs like Bare Necessities and Maple Leaf Rag are sounding a little more solid. ( Here is a recent post on my sloppy octaves in Maple Leaf. This was part of my incentive to wo...

I have learned all of the notes to Jingle Bells Rag. Now for the real challenge: coordinating everything and getting it up to speed. It is a challenge I don't want to underestimate, or I will end up feeling discouraged. Comparison of Sections The crossed-hands section is by far the easiest. I learned it yesterday and played it through several times this morning, and it's pretty smooth. I'll need to drill the part where I go down to the low C, but it's otherwise good. The final section is by far the most challenging. I posted on it a few days ago , and I must admit, I'm still slowing down when I get to part where the right hand jumps around. (It's at 4:05 in the video below.) But it's a lot smoother than it was last week, so that's progress. The rest of the piece is similar to the first part of the final section (starting at 3:00 in the video below), only an octave down. There is a short ragtimey section that is similar to Section B of Bare Necessities, a...

October will be here before I know it, and it will be time for me to move the F minor nocturne back to maintenance mode and begin a new classical (or romantic, or baroque, etc.) piece. General Plans for October Before I write more about that, I want to list the items that I'll also be working on in October, along with my percentage goals: Technique (Scales, Arps, etc.) (5%) Blues (25%) Theory, Scales, Riffs, General Improv, etc. (10%) Amazing Grace (5%) Lagniappe/The Old Rugged Cross (10%) Jingle Bells Rag (20%) Solace (20%) Mystery Classical Piece (20%) Maintenance (Maple Leaf Rag, Bare Necessities, Rondo alla Turca, F minor nocturne) (10%) The Mystery Classical Piece So, what will this mystery classical piece be? I want something that I can learn in three months. So, something that isn't ridiculously long, and that is manageably challenging. Here are a few new-to-me pieces that I'm considering: Liszt, Liebestraum No. 3 ( link to Khatia Buniatishvili performance ) Schubert...

I am loving my new system of tracking my practice-time percentages. As of this weekend, I am within my goal range on everything except Lagniappe, which is still over by a few percentage points. As you can see, I'm still in the negative on half my pieces, but not by much. My favorite thing about this system is that it tells me (in bold red text) what my three lowest-percentage pieces are, which means it tells me what I should focus on next. Of course, I will continue devoting at least a half-hour of practice time to Chopin every day between now and the masterclass, which is this Saturday. But I also want to strive to bring those negative percentages up into the positive. It's hard because each time I spend more time on one piece, the percentages of all the other pieces tumble. But it's kind of fun, too!

In preparation for the masterclass , I've been working really hard on those parts of the nocturne that I don't always play perfectly. One of those parts is the section I call "The Transcendence." It is, in my opinion, the most difficult section of the entire nocturne. It was, at least, the most difficult for me to learn. I blogged on it quite a bit last spring; here is one of my early posts . As I explain in the video (I do a lot of talking in the video!), I can play it pretty well about 65% or 70% of the time, but there are a few areas where I slip up pretty consistently.  It's not the same spot every time--usually it will just be one spot or another. So I recognized that I needed to give this whole section more attention. In this video, I talk about how I'm tackling the problem areas.

Maple Leaf Rag has now been a maintenance piece for several months. I've played it in public a few times, and it's gone well. So why am I still struggling with it? It's sloppy. Not enough to detract from its being a crowd-pleaser, but it's sloppy. Specifically, my octaves are sloppy. My hands are small, and it's not unusual for me to accidentally clip the edge of an inner note with the side of my thumb, particularly when I'm playing fast. In this video, I exaggerate the problem. More realistically, my fingers tend to be a little farther away from the black keys, and the edge of my thumb grabs just the corner of the note to the right of the one I'm supposed to be playing. I've worked to counteract this by moving my hands even farther from the black keys and letting them flatten a little, which allows for a greater stretch. This sometimes helps, but the downside is that I often either (a) still catch the neighboring note because of the flattened hand, or (...

The masterclass is in 11 days. I have put some time into the Chopin every day for the past week or so, and the plan is to continue to do that until the 28th. In addition to simply practicing the notes, I'm trying to prepare to play in front of an audience. I don't have a ready-made audience, so I'm having my husband help me here. I'll play it through, but he'll say "STOP" every 20-30 seconds, and I have to stop, remove my hands from the keyboard, wait a few seconds, and then pick up where I left off. Or I'll play it and try to have a conversation with him while I'm playing. Last night, I had him make a video of me playing. The video camera gives me the same kind of nervousness that an audience does. Also, video can help me to see if I'm sitting awkwardly, making ugly faces, or generally giving an impression I don't want to give. I'm planning to post a few "Masterclass Prep" videos between now and the 28th. The angle is a litt...

Thanks to my new practice-tracking system , I put more time into Jingle Bells Rag last weekend than I otherwise would have. I'm glad I did, because the arpeggio section I focused on is a little tricky. When I first watched/listened to Jonny May's video of this piece , I though, "Wow, that arpeggio section sounds really hard. I should practice it first." When I started learning it, I thought, "Wow, this section isn't nearly as hard as it sounds." But then I put the hands together, and, while it's not what I would call "hard," it definitely took some time to get it right. "Tricky" is the word I use for this kind of thing. I still haven't mastered it yet. I can play it, but it's smooth only if I play it very slowly. This video isn't perfect, as I have a few pauses that I shouldn't have, but I wanted to post something on this piece. Until this weekend, I was still in "dabbling mode" with Jingle Bells Rag. I...

My new system is working! It's now very easy to see which pieces are furthest below their goal, so I can tell which pieces I need to work on next. I entered my time regularly all weekend, and I managed to "catch up," or come close to being caught up, in all my projects. (See my weekend goals post to compare, if you're interested.) I must admit that I didn't play any blues or "lagniappe" (Old Rugged Cross, etc.) this weekend. Instead, I focused on catching up on everything else. And I'm glad I did! I made progress I hadn't expected to make. For instance ... Solace I can now play all the way through Solace. I've memorized the "A" section, and when I played it this morning, it was (mostly) smooth and felt comfortable by memory. I can also play through the "B" section! I haven't started to memorize it yet; this morning I just worked on the fingering for the first part, as well as drilling a couple of the trickier passages...

It's been a while since I've written down my weekend goals. So I'll do that now. My main goal is to get myself back on track with my percentages--I wrote about this a few days ago. I've created a new column in my spreadsheet that makes it easy to see which pieces/skills need the most attention. The three that are the furthest under the goal percentage are the first three pieces I'll work on in my next practice session. It's easy to see which ones they are because the lowest numbers turn red automatically! Isn't that neat? As I enter my practice time each day, I'll let the spreadsheet prioritize what's next. ( Click here to see how I did on this goal using my new spreadsheet method. ) Here are some more specific goals, given in the order listed in the image above. Technique As I wrote previously , I've started focusing on blues scales in addition to the usual major and minor scales in my warm-ups. I'll keep working on the exercise I wrote abou...

 I know I've mentioned the masterclass here a few times, but I don't think I've said much about it. It's going to be conducted by pianist Orion Weiss, who will be performing with the Augusta Symphony the night before (Sept. 27). Which reminds me, I need to get tickets.  OK. I just took a break from writing this to buy a couple of symphony tickets. $158 -- ouch! I could have gotten balcony seats for just $60, but I'm so deaf and my eyes are bad. Anyway, the deed is done. So, four area students will be participating in this masterclass. An 11-year-old, a 16-year-old, a 17-year-old, and me. I saw the pieces being played, and one is Liszt's Consolation 3, which I played back in high school. It was one of my first "two-against-three" pieces. Two of the pieces seem to be intermediate/early-advanced, and I think the Consolation and my Chopin are probably comparable, as far as level. So it should be a good little masterclass. Mr. Weiss will also perform at the...

I'm doing a new kind of scale practice. While I haven't abandoned my usual scales altogether, I've begun working on the major and minor blues scales as part of my warmup. I'm getting better at playing them in C, and I'm also working on practicing them in G. The C minor blues scale is very familiar to me, and the C major blues scale is ... getting there. It's a challenge to play both (major up, minor down) while doing the 12-bar blues in a Charleston rhythm. Another way to practice this would be with different bass lines. But for now, I'm jus trying to get the notes!

When I first started my piano journey of 2024, I thought I wanted to learn jazz theory and, by extension, jazz. I thought my big goal was to learn to develop jazz arrangements from lead sheets. I wanted to play blues as well, but, in my mind, “jazz” and “blues” were kind of the same thing. All I knew was that primarily wanted to play jazz standards in the style of Bill Evans. Or Thelonious Monk. Since then, I’ve discovered a few things about myself that I didn’t know. Jazz Isn't Really for Me One is that I don’t love jazz. It’s not that I hate jazz, because I don’t. There are certain varieties of jazz that I love with a passion, but it’s the older versions (ragtime, stride, big band). But I’ve never liked the Frank Sinatra/Dean Martin style of “crooner jazz.” I don’t really care for bebop. Famous jazz pianists like Bill Evans and Thelonious Monk were geniuses, but I had to admit to myself that I always found their music "interesting" and "intriguing" rather than...

My practice percentages are seriously off-kilter this month. As you can see, I'm extremely over in Blues and Lagniappe, slightly over in technique, and extremely under in everything else. Why the Imbalance? There are several reasons for this. One is that I picked up " Amazing Grace " again but didn't create a category for it, so all of my "Amazing Grace" practice is covered under the "Blues" umbrella. Also under this umbrella is my practice on blues endings and my reviewing of licks, runs, etc., as I practice improvising. The imbalance was even worse, but I decided to move my blues scale practice to "Technique." When I did that, my technique percentage shot up. Another reason for the imbalance is the "Lagniappe" category. "Lagniappe" is a south Louisiana word meaning "a little something extra," so that's the word I'm using for everything else I work on that isn't strictly covered in one of my ...

I got through my dad's funeral all right. It was actually a lovely service, and even though it was sad, I thought it was a wonderful way to honor my dad. Each member of my family had some sort of role in the service. My daughter led the Lord's Prayer, and my nieces read Scripture verses. My brother carried in the ashes. My husband, my sister, and, surprisingly, my mom stood up and spoke for a few minutes during the remembrances section. And, of course, I played the piano. I ended up doing a medley of two hymns: a contemporary/reflective version of "In the Garden," and the contemporary/bluesy mashup of "The Old Rugged Cross" that I shared here a few days ago . I'm developing the bluesy version of "The Old Rugged Cross" into a standalone piece. I've written out the lead sheet and am studying the various concepts from PWJ's "Amazing Grace" Slow Gospel Blues course. I have a lot of work to do, but I'm excited about it. Yes, I ...

I just completed the PWJ course on blues endings. These ending are mostly memorized, though they haven’t started to feel natural yet. I'm also thinking that I'll want to learn some of these in a few other keys. Sigh. The work never ends! Anyway, the Movies app on my phone hid my left hand and also cut off one of the endings too soon … sorry. I think it's clear in this video that some of these endings are more solid than others. I do have a few favorites. I wish I could figure out how to get text to appear at various times in the video so I could label each ending!

The good news, in the midst of all this despair, is that the long break from piano doesn't seem to have affected my playing. I got to play throughout the day yesterday, and it was sooo nice to (1) be able to play for so long, and (2) sound really good! Morning Practice I tried to work yesterday morning (from home), but I couldn't concentrate. My head hurt, and my eye was (and still is) killing me because I have a scratch on my left cornea. So I told my boss, and she said I have three days of bereavement leave, and to feel free to take some time. So I did. I turned off the computer, went downstairs, and practiced piano for a couple of hours. Mostly I worked on hymns, starting with the PWJ Amazing Grace that I wrote about earlier, and then moving on to a medley I'm arranging of my dad's favorite hymns. I was going to make it three hymns, but I've decided to just do two: In the Garden and The Old Rugged Cross. I'll play through ITG twice (where the second time is ...

 Last spring, I was at my parents' house for a few days, and I'd brought my little keyboard. The keyboard isn't great for actual piano practice, but it's wonderful for learning theory and styles. So, when I wasn't playing for my dad, I spent much of that weekend going through the Beginner/Intermediate course of "Amazing Grace" on Piano With Jonny,  Here is a video of me playing for my dad after a day of going through the course lessons. Later (as in recently), I checked out the Intermediate/Advanced version. It's much more difficult, but I seem to be getting it. I still have some work to do. I made this video yesterday morning, and I'm happy to say that I've improved since then, but I'm still not there yet. So enjoy this progress video. Warning: I ramble for a couple of minutes before I ever start playing anything.

These are random thoughts that are going through my mind as I stare at the computer, or the piano, or the book I'm trying to read, and getting nothing done: I want to die. I don't want to eat anymore. I hate everyone. I hope I get killed in a car accident. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm stuck. I'm in a wilderness -- not a lovely, wild one, but a scary, threatening one. Will this nightmare ever end? I am so angry. It's not just my dad dying. It's everything. Piano Helps, But ... Piano, and music in general, have been wonderful, but they've been, in many ways, an escape. I was suicidal when I joined PWJ last January, and I was able to seize on this wonderful resource. My piano-playing is better than ever, and I love practicing. But when I'm not practicing? I don't want to think. I don't want to read or write because that will cause me to think. And if I let myself think, I fall even further into despair. So I listen to music. Lots and lot...

 I am putting together a medley of my dad's favorite hymns to play at his funeral. One is "The Old Rugged Cross." This video shows two styles: one is the simple style I've always used, and the other uses the gospel/blues style I've been learning at Piano With Jonny . The gospel version needs more embellishments and chord subs, I think ... but I'm off to a good start. Please try to ignore the many errors -- I was making this up as I went! (The music is just a hymnbook. Both versions that I play are improvisations on what's in the hymnbook.)

My father died yesterday afternoon. He had been in Hospice care at a memory care facility for about two weeks. I've been here in North Carolina for about ten days, staying with my mom. She, my sister, and I (and sometimes my two nieces) took turns sitting with him, watching him breathe, wondering which breath would be his last. It has been a long week. At times it was hell, particularly during the few times that I was certain he was in some kind of pain, and I couldn't do anything about it. It's also been a long few years as dementia and poor health made him more and more dependent on my mom and on the 24-hour care she hired. I have been coming up to NC at least once a month, often bringing my work laptop and working remotely from their house. So while it hasn't been hard on me the way it has on my mom, it's been a challenge for my family. But I wouldn't have done anything differently. He died peacefully, and I'm thankful for that. He was in a coma-like slee...