Mistake-Riddled Chopin

I got very frustrated Monday night. I have been trying for about a month to make a decent video of myself playing the Chopin Nocturne in F minor. I'm not striving for perfection; really, if I could make one that just had a dozen or so unremarkable errors here and there, I would be thrilled. But no.

When I play for an audience--whether a real-life one or the imagined one behind the "Record" button on my phone--my mind freezes up and I forget how to play the piano. I become unable to read music. I can literally look at a middle C written in front of me and have no idea what it means.

Friends, I have been reading music since 1976. I know middle C.

I guess it's fight or flight, and my brain obviously chooses "flight." How do I stop it from doing that? I don't know, but I would desperately love to find out.

I can play the nocturne pretty well by memory when I'm not recording. I've been very happy with my progress. But when I'm recording? I get something like the video below. I made about 16 videos before I got to this "best" one.

I'm not just posting this to show my three readers how awkward I get in front of an "audience." It also helps me to watch and listen to videos of myself playing. I may post a few more of these in the effort to become better at playing for the camera.

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