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Wednesday Blues: More Frustrations

I'm feeling really down today. I don't know if it's related to piano, but it sure did come out as piano frustration this morning.

I do think my melancholia has other sources. I'm frustrated about a lot of things that are going on in my life right now. I have a lot of anger, and a lot of bitterness. It's no secret that life hasn't turned out anything like I wanted it to, and it's all my own fault for making dumb decisions 10 and 20 and 30 years ago. It's hard for me to resist the temptation of asking "what if" and imagining that I could go back and do my life over again.

Again, this is not piano-related, though of course I would have done piano differently. I wouldn't have worried so much about what other people think, and I wouldn't have put so much pressure on myself to be the biggest, most talented fish in my various musical puddles.

Am I putting pressure on myself now? So much of this morning's frustration is related to my slow progress in playing blues. I've kept up with regular practice, but my progress seems to have stalled.

I'm not going to write a book this morning. Instead, I will leave you with two videos. One is a compilation of several short videos of me trying to play "Cold-Hearted Calico Blues" and forgetting, yet again, where I am in the left hand. And the other is of me whining about how depressed I am that I'm not playing decent blues by now. Enjoy. (Ha.)

Starts and Stops: A Compilation

Nina Plays Some Blues and Whines about Her Lack of Progress

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