Are y'all tired of reading about my You Are My Sunshine progress yet? No? Excellent. I will continue.
This week is recital week. Yesterday was my "dry run" recital with the Piano with Rebecca B group. Tomorrow is the PWJ Student Recital.
PwRB Performance Report
I crashed and burned.
Or maybe more accurately, I stumbled, recovered, stumbled again, and kept moving forward—which, really, counts as a kind of success. The tempo held together, more or less. (Though I'm scared to watch the video Rebecca kindly posted after the recital.) The piece never fully unraveled. But the mistakes were persistent—and oddly placed, showing up in spots that usually sound fine in practice.
The finale, in particular, went rogue. I landed solidly on a completely wrong chord at one point, and at the very end I forgot to finish on the high octave for the final downward gliss. So I ended in the middle of the keyboard, paused just long enough to realize what had happened, then tacked on the gliss anyway—a little late and somewhat out of context. Not exactly the grand finish I had in mind.
And yet, I wasn't especially nervous, and I'm not kicking myself for messing up. Yes, I'm a little disappointed that I didn't play better, but "playing well" wasn't really the goal here. The goal was to see what would happen in a performance setting. To gather information.
Failure Is Information
In volleyball, I often tell my players: failure is information. Or, if failure is too scary of a word for the littles, mistakes are information. Failure puts our current limitations front and center. Mistakes tell us where to focus. They show you where your assumptions are shaky, where your attention drifts, where your hands don't yet fully know what to do.
Yesterday's YAMS performance gave me a wealth of information.
Intentional Focus, Deliberate Distraction
The piece, and the finale in particularly needs more than repetition—it needs intention. I need to see the keyboard, feel where I’m landing, know the harmony as I play it, and stay aware of what my left hand is doing while my right hand sings. In other words: less autopilot, more presence.
At the same time, I also need the opposite: practice that removes conscious control altogether. Playing while reading out loud, or holding a conversation—anything that forces the hands to function without constant oversight. I'm not sure what goes on in the brain when I practice that way, but it seems to lock things in and help the hands know where to go next.
Between those two approaches—intentional focus and deliberate distraction—I’m hoping to close some of the gaps that showed up yesterday.
The Big Challenge Now
The challenge is time. (Isn't it always?)
I logged about 25 minutes this morning before work—playing while reading, then using the metronome at 90 and 95 (my goal is ~105). Tonight I have a work event and probably won't get home until late, but I'll still play it through a couple of times. There is value in practicing while tired; it's not that different from performing under less-than-ideal conditions.
Tomorrow my sick kitty has a vet appointment, and then, a few hours later, I have the recital.
It's not an ideal lead-up to a performance.
Even so, I feel good about where this piece is. I've put in the time. The structure is there. The character is there. Now it's just a matter of helping it hold together while people are watching. While Jonny May is watching.
Video with Metronome
Here's a video from this morning's practice, playing with the metronome at ♩=95. And yes—the metronome is very present. You’ll know exactly how accurate my rhythm is, whether I like it or not.
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