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Random Places My Mind Has Gone Lately

Showing Up Anyway

It’s been an interesting stretch at the piano lately. Not dramatic or triumphant, that’s for sure. Just mentally ... expansive, maybe. Life outside piano has been intense, and I haven’t managed a full, uninterrupted hour at the keyboard in nearly a week. The good news is that I'm still showing up every day, sometimes twice a day when I can. Fifteen minutes here, twenty there. “After You’ve Gone.” Minor turnaround practice. Modulations. Transposing. Jonny’s “Love Progression” challenge. Tweaking my “You Are My Sunshine” arrangement. A feeble attempt at re-learning a cheesy love song from the 80s so I can submit a video for PWJ’s “Cheesy Month.” The kind of work that doesn’t make for flashy videos but does steadily rewire my brain. (OK, maybe the cheesy love song doesn’t ... but it’s a good exercise in sight-reading!)

I am deep in my PWJ courses right now, especially the Minor Turnaround work, and it is seriously stretching me. Flat 9 inversions. Half-diminished chords. Voice leading that only works if I slow down and actually think. None of this is glamorous, but it’s foundational, so I stick with it.

Feeling Like a Beginner Again

Lately I have felt less competent at the piano than I have in a long time. My practicing has not even been pleasant to listen to. Thank God for headphones! When I’m wrestling with bringing the hands together cleanly in “After You’ve Gone,” or experimenting with which half-diminished seventh variation actually serves the line, I sound like a beginner.

I guess this is because, in these core areas, I am a beginner.

The only time I sound polished is when I retreat to the finished parts of “You Are My Sunshine” or to maintenance repertoire. And I have admittedly been neglecting those. Kind of sad (not really) that the areas where I’m most confident are no longer the ones where real growth is happening.

Changing the Way I See Harmony

I’ve also been thinking about how easy it is for beginner and intermediate pianists to assume my musical path is somehow smoother than theirs. It isn’t. The challenges are just different.

My struggle right now isn’t about speed, accuracy, or technique. It’s about forcing my brain to stop seeing isolated notes and chords and start seeing scale degrees and harmonic function. It’s about understanding why a chord moves where it moves and being able to feel that pull in real time. That shift is mind-blowing, and it’s hard. It hurts my brain (as in literally gives me a headache if I work on it too long), and it’s making me temporarily worse before I get better.

But I know I'll get better. Lead sheets are starting to look less like Greek and more like guides. But following the path in real time is different from simply understanding on paper.

Listening with Purpose

Alongside all of this, I have been running a listening experiment. Last week I listened to nothing but Art Blakey and the Jazz Messengers. This week I’ve been listening to a dozen or more renditions of “Softly As in a Morning Sunrise” since I’m learning it as part of the Minor Turnaround course.

Jazz isn’t naturally my favorite music, which makes my little experiment more interesting. What happens if I saturate my ears with one artist or one song for days? Does my phrasing at the piano shift? Does my rhythm get more solid? Does my resistance soften? No conclusions yet, but I can already hear more. Different instrumentalists (not just pianists!) outlining the same harmony. Different improvisatory takes on the tune. Different choices, different sounds.

The Unglamorous Middle

Nothing about this week has felt glamorous. I haven’t posted a new video here. No breakthrough performances at the moment. But thing are definitely shifting.

Even in shorter practice sessions, even when I sound clumsy, the harmony is becoming clearer. The listening is becoming deeper. I suspect these unremarkable weeks are where the real changes are happening. At least I hope they are!
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